4 years after AFS Selection Camp. 3 years after a journey to the USA. 2 years after matriculation life. A year after placing myself in USMKK.
Truth be told, along these 4 years of life, I've learned so much from the university of life. When people ask me which part of my life that give the biggest turning point of what I am today, I would say and highlight the story of these 4 years. I stepped on things which I never thought I would've stepped, maybe I've imagined some of them before I go to sleep, but just a thought that it might be just an angan-angan. Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah for giving me the opportunity of life that is not as klise as other. Alhamdulillah.
Being in a prestigious boarding school have always been my dream since I was in primary school. By getting only 4A's 1B, so there I was. Attended only a 'kampung' high school nearby my last primary school. Sad. Disappointed. Broken into pieces. But my attitude back then was just being redha, I didn't get straight A's for UPSR after all. I deserved it- not being placed in any boarding school. It was painful deep inside to see 3/4 out of 26 of my friends who got 5A's were placed in SBP, MRSM or SMKA and left me hanging alone in a typical 'kampung' high school. I had this kinda mindset which those students who are schooling in boarding school are smartass and respected back then. I used to had this inferior feeling when I met anyone of them. "Ye la, ko sekolah SBP, aku ni sekolah kampung je"-type of feeling.
So I started my high school years at Sekolah Taib, a school next to the famous-amos SMK Aminuddin Baki, Chemor. Before I stepped into the school, there were many rumor I heard about Sekolah Taib- small school with bad kids, worst discipline, not many of high-achievers that were produced, 'keras', many dogs played around school compound at night lah, the teachers not that good lah. Those statement made me feel more painful in a way but the excitement of being a high school student swept away all those rumors.
There I was, being lucky since there are some of my primary school friends who were also there with me in the same class taking KAA which includes Arabic & Hafazan. They have been more that just supporting me throughout the high school years. They were sahabat and not just friends. We focused & struggled for our next coming PMR as my last chance of getting into a boarding school. But this time I was more focused, planning of getting into an SBP which offer Sains Agama instead since Sekolah Taib didn't offer Arabic for SPM takers. Only Allah knows how much I want to continue studying Arabic, the language of Jannah. This could be achieved by hoping that I would pass PMR with flying colors and get chosen by any SMKA available.
Alhamdulillah, Allah answered my prayers. 7 of us achieved 9A's for our PMR. 3 of my batchmates including me applied for Sains Agama while the rest applied for SBP, SBPI and some prefer to stay. Out of 3, there was only 1 who got accepted to Sains Agama in KISAS. And yeah, it's a he. While the other friends who applied for Science Stream also got accepted to SSP and IGop respectively. Me and the other friend would just husnudzon, maybe there's a cloud in a silver lining. There are hikmah resides behind what happened. We can just plan, Allah decides for the best.
But still, I was asking questions, questions after questions. If I can't make it through SBP which offer Sains Agama, why can't I be placed in other school which have Bahasa Arab. Or why not just go to any other Sekolah Madrasah? (Received tons of offer letters from Sekolah Madrasah) If SMKA can't take me, why can't I just go to some other school which allows me to study Sains Agama? This time I can accept the fact that I can't get to any other school to study Bahasa Arab. Ok, it's fine.
And here's another thing. Even though I couldn't make it to any other Sains Agama's school, but still I want to be exposed to a new fresh place with positive vibes in which the study condition is conducive enough and I could explore my potential to the max! I found Sekolah Taib is only a teaching place with no aura, the students always being yelled at in the morning during assembly for nasty gang fight, a dull place with students who don't even bring books to school! Well, not all students who have that kind of attitude but many of them presents in my school. All-in-all, the teachers are doing just perfectly great! They did their job really well. It just the attitude of the students which I so sicked about.
Worse enough, I was one of the prefect who had the responsibility to control the discipline of the students around! Enough with all of rumor being thrown to that school and finally I was like "That's it! I'm switching school no matter what!" So I asked my mom that I wanted to go to Main Convent in Ipoh which is known to be all-girls school, with smartypants kids, fluent English speaker students, rich brat, drama et al, and so forth. My mom asked whether the school offers any Islamic studies subjects (she doesn't know much about school around Ipoh). Haha...of course not! After all, I just want to be in another environment which I 'think' would be cool to study and socialize (dah lari dari niat there!). She claimed that that school is too far and transportation would be a problem (But public bus pass by the school everyday even on weekend mom!) plus there is no Bahasa Arab offered. Duh! I got a NO from my mom.
There I was, Form 4 in SMK Dato' Haji Mohd Taib taking Science Stream. No KAA. No continuation of my Bahasa Arab and Hafazan after that. Period. Heart-breaking feeling.
To be continued.
